So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
