I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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