Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
