I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So much Jack, so little girl.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
