We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
