Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
