your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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