Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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