i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
