He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
