Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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