it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
