We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
