Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I am available for nakedness
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
