shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
