I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
