I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
