they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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