You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
