How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
