Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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