Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
