I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
