Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
