I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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