Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
