he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
