3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I got chris browned last night
I've blown a few things in my day
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Randomize