My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
accomplished twins. life is a go
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize