I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
did you just send me my own nude
Randomize