I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
