he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
