She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
