My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
