It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
