if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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