Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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