Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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