her vagine was all disorganized.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
