It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
