I showed him my bush... on skype.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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