Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
