i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
