Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
