They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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