Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
this just has baby written all over it
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
