YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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