Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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