i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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