Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
