I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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