at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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