that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
