idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
