Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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