I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
