Welp...herpes.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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