is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
