She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
