I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
