i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
