her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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