is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
