I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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