would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
