i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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