my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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