he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
