she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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